First I’d like to point out that it is August 14 and that means I’ve been a Nashvillian for one year and one day.
Secondly, here’s a confession of a pseudo-fitness blogger: I am really hard on myself. I think most people are, especially in this circle, but for me, it can sometimes lead to destructive (or at least non-progressive) behavior, like skipping blog entries because I feel like everyone on my blogroll is working out harder and eating healthier than me.
I run with nike plus on my ipod. I realize that’s sooooo 2007, but whatever, I don’t have a smartphone. The point is that at the end of a run, sometimes I’ll hear the voice of Lance Armstrong or Joan Benoit Samuelson in my head. They’ll say “This is (amazing inspirational athlete’s name here). That was your (fastest/longest) workout to date!”
Obviously, when I started running, I heard them a lot. I was constantly improving my stamina, or running my fastest time per mile back in Beijing when the only thing in my life I could control was how long or fast I was running. Now, after having run a handful of half marathons and one full marathon, the only thing that will take me to the next level is commitment I’m not ready to give. When I wait for those voices at the end of my runs and don’t hear them, I hear an even louder and more obnoxious voice inside my head say, “This is nobody. And you did nothing.”
I’m a normal person. I work full time and have other hobbies. I can’t work out four hours a day. And I feel guilty about that.
In an effort to conserve energy, I’m going to sleep tonight. I just wanted to approach blogging like I do exercise right now and just do it, even just a little if that’s all I can manage.
Please give some advice if you’re feeling helpful and inspirational, real life friends and real internet friends: what do you do when you’re in a rut?