One Year and One Day

First I’d like to point out that it is August 14 and that means I’ve been a Nashvillian for one year and one day. 

 

Secondly, here’s a confession of a pseudo-fitness blogger: I am really hard on myself. I think most people are, especially in this circle, but for me, it can sometimes lead to destructive (or at least non-progressive) behavior, like skipping blog entries because I feel like everyone on my blogroll is working out harder and eating healthier than me.

 

I run with nike plus on my ipod. I realize that’s sooooo 2007, but whatever, I don’t have a smartphone. The point is that at the end of a run, sometimes I’ll hear the voice of Lance Armstrong or Joan Benoit Samuelson  in my head. They’ll say “This is (amazing inspirational athlete’s name here). That was your (fastest/longest) workout to date!”

 

Obviously, when I started running, I heard them a lot. I was constantly improving my stamina, or running my fastest time per mile back in Beijing when the only thing in my life I could control was how long or fast I was running. Now, after having run a handful of half marathons and one full marathon, the only thing that will take me to the next level is commitment I’m not ready to give. When I wait for those voices at the end of my runs and don’t hear them, I hear an even louder and more obnoxious voice inside my head say, “This is nobody. And you did nothing.”

 

I’m a normal person. I work full time and have other hobbies. I can’t work out four hours a day. And I feel guilty about that.

 

In an effort to conserve energy, I’m going to sleep tonight. I just wanted to approach blogging like I do exercise right now and just do it, even just a little if that’s all I can manage.

 

Please give some advice if you’re feeling helpful and inspirational, real life friends and real internet friends: what do you do when you’re in a rut? 

4 thoughts on “One Year and One Day

  1. Hmmm, very interesting. My comments are two fold

    one – why are you listening to any other voices accept your own. fitness isn’t a comparison with other people. You have told me many times that you don’t like the way society make models look like a rail and for some strange reason that is what they aspire to. It isn’t realistic or safe most of the time. Their is something genetic for sure for some of those women. So you have asked why do other compare themselves to an unrealistic image? Doesn’t that also apply to your voices of Lance Armstrong or Joan Benoit Samuelson? although their encouragement would be nice – don’t compare yourself to those who have 4-8 hours a day to work out. That is their career. I can understand the mental encouragement that you got from that at one time, but when you don’t hear those voices it doesn’t mean that you are not doing what you can. You are not in a fitness career. You are not getting paid (other than personal rewards) for your hard work like they do. It is apples and oranges.

    second – your internal voice is what we need to look at more closely. “This is nobody. And you did nothing.” is pretty harsh. You do admit that you are hard on yourself, I can understand that too. You would not be as healthy and happy (at times) with yourself if you didn’t push yourself. BUT the attitude toward yourself is the issue. I suggest you stop looking at the trees – backup and see the beautiful forest. It is about perspective. Life is not always higher, higher higher climb. It is roller coaster – full of ups and downs, highs and lows. remember that when Jesus said he would give us life and life more abundantly we forget what that really means is that our highs will be higher and our lows will be lower at times. that is truly an abundant life. Don’t stress the down hill, there is another peak on the horizon. Hang on and enjoy the ride.
    that’s my two cents worth anyway. Love ya – Dad.

  2. For me, blogging is a way to keep accountable to my topcis – which isn’t just one thing. I blog about running (which I can’t do at 23 weeks pregnant anymore), working out, my toddler, vegan food and random other things. Some days I feel guilty, especially now when I’m not doing “amazing” workouts but then again, but then again I blog when I can and try not to stress about how often etc.
    As for running – at least you are running – some people aren’t even “moving”, they sit all night and watch tv. So good on you for getting out there when you can for how ever long you can.
    Focus on you and the rest (blogging) will come.

    1. Thanks for putting things in perspective. Women like you really amaze me – your body is already working overtime trying to grow another human, and here you are cooking beautiful vegan meals and taking walks nearly every night. It does make me feel better – other people just trying their best and writing about it.

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