“You need to go to yoga tonight, hon; you’ve had a hard week.”
“Of course I’ve had a hard week. Every week is a hard week.”
I’m not usually one to snap at my sweet and thoughtful husband or dwell in the depths of despair, so this little exchange last night was an unpleasant shock to myself. It’s true that I’m not overly in love with my life, but comments like this do very little to help.
Tomorrow is day one of a 40-day journey into Baron Baptist’s 40 Days to Personal Revolution. I’m grateful that this is not a solo undertaking; I’ll be part of a whole little community at Shakti Power Yoga right across the street from my house. It’ll be a commitment to journaling, asking tough questions and answering them honestly, eating holistically, and practicing yoga 6 days a week.
With work and grad school and my own yoga teaching schedule, I know it sounds crazy to begin something like this now. But there are things I need to add to my life – I need a lightness of spirit, I need to know I can depend on myself and my body for the strength I need. I know that this won’t necessarily “fix” me and I don’t even feel the need for fixing, but I do want to get in better touch with myself so I don’t walk around from one date-book commitment to the next with a sour attitude. I need to remember that I chose this life so I can gracefully move through it.
I did practice last night and apologized to Ryan as soon as I walked in the door. I told him that I reconnected with my body, even after my terrible diet choices (confession: I’ve alternating my diet between sugar cookies and chocolate chip cookies from kid’s birthdays at work.) The good thing about surrounding yourself with people you love is that you’re always forgiven if you’re willing to start fresh.