Never the Same

Left: me at 37 weeks pregnant, Right: me today.

Having a baby is like being hit by a train. When you ask people when you can expect to start feeling normal again, you’ll mostly get one answer: six weeks.

Today, Finn is six weeks old. He’s making lots of noises, focusing on faces, and (as of two days ago) sleeping through the night, even without a rigid feeding schedule. Our bodies have both changed so much in a month and a half – he’s been gaining weight and I’ve been losing it (thank you breastfeeding!).

While I was pregnant, I fantasized about Finn coming out so I could get back to my old body, jealously watching friends run the half marathon in Nashville and teaching my yoga classes to people who could pose circles around me (not what it’s about, I know!). The worst was when people would insist on telling me their bad postpartum experiences: I shuddered when they’d tell me that my body would “never be the same.”

Now I know they were right – it won’t ever be the same. Even when I fully return to my pre-pregnancy weight, my body has changed forever.

It gives my child custom-made nutrition he needs to grow.

It functions surprisingly well on very little sleep.

Its cuddling capacity vastly outperforms pre-pregnancy and can easily cuddle both husband and son simultaneously.

It carried a baby for 39 weeks and some change, then pushed it out at home with no drugs.

Ryan and I are signed up for a half marathon in October, and training officially begins tomorrow. So far this week, I’ve logged two runs and several yoga classes. You’re supposed to wait the full six weeks before exercising again, but I started again at three weeks postpartum with very modified power yoga – I haven’t gone longer than that without working out since 2009. My two runs this past week have been slow, but I’m not at all bothered by that nagging notion that my body will never be the same.

It is so much better.

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